I am living in a hotel.  Correction: I am living in a motel.

To clarify; I am not an heiress.  This is not the Chateau Marmot.  There is no kitchen.  The tub does not have jets.  This is the Painted Buffalo Inn and the rates are weekly and the fridge is mini.  Turn down service is not an option, and continental breakfast is an additional three dollars per day.

I went to the grocery store today to stock up on microwaveables.  I realized that buying organic is not conducive to motel living.  That shit needs to be prepared and unless you are one inventive SOB, you cannot prepare an organic meal in a microwave.  You need pots and pans, boiling water, maybe even a fucking cutting board.  For me, this is the hardest aspect of motel living because I love food and unfortunately, I not the descendant of the French’s Mustard fortune and I cannot go out to eat 21 times a week.  I have bananas, tortillas, and a $15 jar of almond butter (still, not an heiress).  This is just a part of it.  It is not forever.  Suck it up, Princess.

My paddle board is still strapped to the roof of my car, my Yakima box is still inside my Subi, and I still cannot locate my hiking shoes.  I knew it would take a second to get everything sorted.  It has been a week, and yes, I had a moment.  I drove into a public lot, put my car in park, sat there in the driver’s seat while I left the engine idling because it was cold and I needed to feel the warmth of something, with all of my belongings closing in on me, eyes welling with tears, and thinking what the fuck am I even doing?

And then a not so funny thing happened, something that if you know me, is unsurprising.  My convictions came storming back.  There was clarity and I realized that my confidence is still there.  I have made a good decision and this is a good choice for me.  Also...there was one fantastic Halloween party, and that definitely helped too.  I’m serious, I didn’t even see one offensive costume and there were even other people celebrating #FeministHalloween!

It is late and I’m going to bed.  I’m smiling.  This is epic.